family

by Eden That Bitch / Thursday, 13 May 2010

nd
Im a loner, and as a loner I have some issues.
I rarely go and visit my friends and family. I like to be in touch with them but most of the time, my own family take up all the time I have.
I also get the feeling that Im not the most popular person in my family.
Not since my fathers mother passed away.
We had this very special strong bond. I missed her all the time and she missed me. But my cousins and aunts and all, do they miss me when im gone?
I have no idea.
I dont get invitations to their birthdays or any other family reunions.
So it's really hard to tell, and this makes me feel more alone and isolated.
When I feel alone and isolated, I hide even more.
Every time Im at a gathering with my family I always feel like im unwanted or disliked. Not that Im not welcome, but not as welcome as the rest of the pack, Im like the drunk uncle that always caused a mess, but Im never drunk and I never make a mess, especially not at a party. Am I to shy, or am I to much, do I look or act the wrong way. I think so, and until they prove me otherwise I dont see how ) can change my mind.

Im so sorry dear family, but Im shy and a loner, I love you, but I have a hard time reaching out to you, you got to come to me.